Ann McMahon was guest speaker at the Virtual VCF Day and talked us through “Choosing Gratitude.” She outlines her talks here.

“I am a very ordinary Christian, and at the VCF virtual conference I shared some thoughts on a very ordinary topic! When Ali contacted me, I had just been reading a book called “Choosing Gratitude” by Nancy Leigh deMoss. It had a big impact on me and much of this is based on what I have tried to learn from this book. In a very small survey with family, asking for the main Christian virtues, I ended up with quite a list including love, hospitality, service, and kindness among others. No-one included gratitude, yet in the middle of some of those lists we find gratitude embedded. In 1 Thess 5:18 after “live in peace, help the weak”, we come to “Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

We have choices in how we respond to life’s circumstances. We can worship and give thanks, or we can whine and complain. If we worship and give thanks, especially in the middle of difficult times, we show the grace of God to those around us.
In many ways “Gratitude” is in fashion in our world, but often it seems to be appropriate for the good times. True Christ-centred, grace motivated, gratitude fits everywhere, in good times and bad. It’s a way of life, both hard fought and grace infused. As Christians we have more reason for thankfulness than anyone else. Our rescue cost the life of Jesus. You would think our lifelong response would be “Whatever You want Lord, it’s the least I can do after all You have done for me!!” Should we make it our goal to have a heart that’s as grateful to God, as the amazing grace He has poured into our lives?
True thankfulness has a “You” to say thank you to. It recognises the many gifts we have received as coming from God and others. It expresses appreciation to Him and other people for those gifts. According to an article in Psychology Today there are at least 7 scientifically proven benefits of gratitude such as improving physical, psychological and mental health. We know we have many things to give thanks to God for, and it is good for us to do this. So why is it hard?
In Luke 17:11-19 we have the story of the 10 lepers being healed by Jesus. Leprosy is a living picture of sin. It brought (and still brings) isolation, shame, fear and guilt. Jesus poured out grace on the 10 men, bringing healing as they were on their way to the priests. All 10 must have had hope of healing because all were going to the priests, but only 1 came back as soon as he saw evidence of healing. Why did the other 9 not come back? Were they determined to go on to the priests and get their healing officially recognised? Maybe they went looking for Jesus later? But He had moved on as He was on His way to Jerusalem to die. Ingratitude isn’t always blatant bitterness, or even indifference. Sometimes (and I know this happens to me) it’s the thing on our to-do list that we just don’t quite get to.
But for 1 leper (or ex-leper!), it was first on his list. He returned immediately to say thanks. Jesus focused on this 1 man “Rise and go, your faith has made you well”. The other 9 men, I’m sure, told the story for the rest of their lives, of the day a man called Jesus healed them of leprosy. But this 1 man came close to Jesus, he threw himself at Jesus’ feet, and was made completely well, body and soul.
Just as Jesus recognised ingratitude in the 9, we are good at recognising ingratitude in others (especially when we expect gratitude for something we have done!). Yet how often do we forget, or just not bother, to say thanks
and not recognise our own ingratitude? Maybe we gradually focus on our rights, and we don’t realise we’re wrapping ourselves up in a cozy blanket of entitlement and resentment, so that it becomes our default reaction. Is it surprising how easily ingratitude becomes our habit? Or is it because Satan encourages it, knowing that it can be at the root of many other “major” sins?
In Romans 1:24-32 Paul lists the unrighteousness of men – a long list. But a couple of verses earlier in v21 Paul gives the root, “For although they knew God, they neither glorified him as God nor gave thanks to him, but their thinking became futile, and their foolish hearts were darkened”. We can overlook gratitude for seemingly more essential character traits, but I had never made this connection before. Not giving thanks to God sets off a downward spiral of sin. Ingratitude can be our first step away from God.
So, what are some of the signs or attitudes that warn us that we are not giving thanks? We have unrealistic expectations. We want other people to fulfil our needs when actually and only God can satisfy us. We just forget whereas God repeatedly told the Israelites to REMEMBER. We have a sense of entitlement. Our world says, “we’re worth it”. We take simple blessings for granted. When we think what we have is just what we deserve, we are feeding ingratitude.
All these attitudes show blindness to God’s grace. If God had only forgiven us and promised us Heaven, we should be overwhelmed by gratitude. But instead, He gives us mercies “new every morning”. He adopts us, brings us into His family and promises to dwell with us forever. When we see His grace like this, lavish and undeserved, we will have a vision of his kindness and glory that will sustain us through life’s battles and hard times and even just through the times when all we just need to keep plodding.
Left to ourselves we don’t often gravitate to thankfulness so how can we encourage ourselves on this path? It’s a matter of obedience – Col 3:17. It brings us close to God – Psalm 100. It leads to peace – Phil 4. It’s God’s will for us – 1 Thess 5:18. Gratitude is evidence of the work of the Holy Spirit in our lives – Eph 5:18-20. It’s a gauge of where our hearts are. When we find ourselves being grateful to God for His blessings, whether they are obvious or subtle, it’s a sign that we believe He is good and faithful and trustworthy. Joni Eareckson Tada said, “I think I’ve just disciplined myself for so many years to “give thanks in all things” that it has become my reflex reaction”. That makes me wonder, is my reflex to give thanks or complain? And a reflex reaction comes from the habits formed by a 1000 seemingly insignificant choices!
We teach our kids to say thanks, but we really want them to mean it as well as say it. God our Father also wants to see us showing gratitude. Not as an empty gesture, but out of the overflow of a truly thankful heart. When we think of our prayers, if you are anything like me, requests come faster than thanks. So, we need to ask ourselves if our prayers are top-heavy in complaints, or if they are rooted in thanks.
When we read the psalms, we see that David and the other writers are honest about their hurts and fears, but only one psalm doesn’t turn back to praise at some point. Our requests should be accompanied by thanksgiving says 1Tim 2:1
So, it is also called a sacrifice of praise. I realise that some of you may well be going through times of pain and hardship. Our days may be dark, and there may be no sign that they will get easier. But those who say “No” to resentment, and “Yes” to gratitude, even in the face of pain and loss, they are the ones who really survive.
Helen Roseveare went from Northern Ireland as a medical missionary to Congo in the 50s and 60s. Then came the night when Helen and other women missionaries were taken captive by guerrilla soldiers. The women were savagely beaten, humiliated and raped by the rebels. But amid that terrifying ordeal, as she cried out to the Lord, she sensed Him saying to her “Helen, can you thank Me?” She knew God wasn’t asking her to thank Him for the evil, but the question that came to her heart was “Can you thank Me for trusting you with this experience, even if I never tell you why?”
Thanksgiving comes at a cost. In the hard times, to offer thanks is truly a sacrifice of thanksgiving. Our hearts may be breaking but we have a choice. Do we only thank God for the part of our life that is going the way we want? Or do we worship and trust Him, and give Him thanks, because He is God and we trust that He is good, and all He does is good, regardless of the darkness we may be in?
I have a couple of practical suggestions to make (and to apply myself). To make thankfulness our reflex reaction takes practice and maintenance. It might be helpful to set a “season” of gratitude to realign our habits. Maybe for a month to focus on thankfulness in the Bible or make a list of our blessings and keep adding to it as we think of more. Someone said, ‘If I woke up tomorrow, with only the things I have thanked God for today, what would I be left with? Start by thanking someone who deserves a word of thanks from you today. Write thank you notes – this is one of the things I am hoping to improve on! Writing an email or sending a text is good, but a tangible piece of paper can be special. Share your journey with someone else and encourage each other. It might be helpful to have a playlist of hymns and songs that focus us on giving thanks to God, especially some that allow us to acknowledge that life isn’t always easy.
Finally, here are some prompts to encourage gratitude! Something God is / Something God has done / Something from Jesus’ life / Something about Heaven / A time you knew God’s guidance / Something in your relationship with God / A time God has shown you comfort / A time God has provided for your needs / Someone who has made an impact on you / A skill you learnt in childhood that you still use today / Someone in your life now / Something you hear or see or smell or taste or touch / An animal (species or individual) / A teacher / A pastor or other Christian leader / A favourite season / Something you take for granted / Something or someone who has come into your life in the last 5 years / A place / A book / Something about where you live / Someone who helps you see God better / Something in your home / Something from last week.”